Jokes with punchlines!

[BillyButlin]

Tooled up on your last job Geordie ?
Aye, a trowel an spirit level, he didn,t think it was funny either.

[Tracy]

The lads goin naffin fishin in the naffin country;
Bomber, "Where are you headed?"
Colin, "This way hehe"

[Tracy]

Just had a curry and a beer for lunch; finished watching The Lovers. AAHHH Pet Paradise ! Classic stuff; Turk, "He has nothing for women this man." Dennis, "They said you were a puff man !"
Anyway, had to fill out my Census forms. Question; ...show all the people who live in the same household as you. I crossed out all the box answers and wrote, "None, just the wife !"

[Tracy]

OK then, tonight I watched 'Dicko's Real Deal' roight and it was from Chesterfield. I said to the wife, "Oh great, now Im gonna be wrecked before I get on the drink !" She never laughed at it neither...

[Tracy]

What did Arthur Pringle say when he hit his golfball into the Woods ? "Call me Tiger !"

[Tracy]

What did Neville sing when Oz's car broke down on the autobahn ? "We should have teek, the mornin train !"

[Tracy]

Dennis told Neville he should be a Panel-beater and fix Ally's Jag. Nev said, "Dennis man, Im not a car-bender man !"

[LeeW]

Haha.

"did ya take metalwork at school?"

[Tracy]

What did Oz say to the barman [ Ray Knight ] when he had a headache ?
Two pills here Adolf !

[RHill]

What did Oz say to the barman [ Ray Knight ] when he had a headache ?
Two pills here Adolf !

[Auf Wiedersehen, Pet]

Very droll son...

[HerrPfister]

I preferred the first one myself...

[HerrPfister]

Wyman : Hey, this cash smells of Persil!
Den : Just been laundered, hasn't it?!

[Tracy]

David Cameron invites Barak Obama and Vladimir Putin to the UK for talks on the Syrian crisis. They go to Newcastle because all the media attention is focused on the AWP 30th anniversary. When its time for an outdoor photo shoot, they go to Gateshead. While they assemble in a local park, Dennis rings Oz and asks, "Whats gan on ?" Oz looks oot the window and says, "World leaders in wa field !"

[Tracy]

I thought it was funny. How aboot this then;
What did Oz yell at the Jorman who sped past him at 200 k on the autobahn ?
"Hawey Vettel !"