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© Auf Wiedersehen, Pet   
‘Paradise City' Scene:  Marbella Club. Pepe to Ally: "Your friend by the pool, he has  ordered Champagne. Who's paying ?"  Ally looks  around, rolls  his  eyes: "Aye ok here but no more !"  Bomber: "I'll have one more but first, Bomber needs  the little house, my Zarzuela's  on the move."  Ally: "Alright one more and then out !"  Oz: "Alreet alreet man, not got the plague ya kna !" Ally pays  Pepe as  Vicki grins  twinkly eyed and winks  at Oz. As  they leave, Pepe reluctantly serves  two more beers. In walks  a bloke with dark skin and a huge head of thick, black hair. Black T-  shirt, shorts, flip flops  and wearing dark glasses.   Pepe glares  at him: "Can I help you sir ?"  Bloke with a deep but soft American accent: "Yea gizza  beer mate." Oz looks  at him: "Alreet pal ?" Bloke: "Yea mate, yaself ?" Oz: "Champion ! Ya not from aroond here then ?"  Bloke: "Na mate, I'm from LA and you're a Geordie !" Oz: "Wye aye man I'm is. Oz, pleased to meet ya. You look like you're from the Caribean." Bloke laughs: "Well I was  born in London but spent a few years  in Stoke as a lad. Saul Hudson but my stage name's  Slash."  Oz: "Slash ?! Stage name ? You an actor ?" Slash: "Guitarist." Oz: "Guitarist well that's  a canny gig. Money for nothing and ya chicks  for free eh ?"  Slash: "Haha well not quite but working on it. Just had a break, back to LA this  afternoon, meet up with the band."  Oz: "What's  the band name then ?"  Slash: "Guns  and Roses."  Oz: "Oh that's  a canny name though but, not country and western then ?"  Slash: "Heavy metal." Oz: "Y'all not be at The Grand Old Opry then ?!"  Slash: "Wouldn't think so mate."  Oz: "I've been there, met Merle Haggard !" Slash: "For real ? What are ya doin in Spain ?"  Oz: "Workin, unofficially but need to lay low for a while. The Spanish Old Bill are sniffin aroond like."  Slash: "Haha, how long will be here then ?"  Oz: "Maybees  a couple of months. Then I'm off to Ibiza ! Oh dear me, Paradise City. Where the boilers  keen and they've got big titties !"  Slash chokes  on his  beer: "Oh man that's  great ! You could turn that into a song !"  Oz: "Whaaat ? Never hear that on the radio son !"  Slash: "How about Paradise City where the grass  is  green and the girls  are pretty ?" Oz dreamily: "Aye, please take me home." Slash: "Oh man I love it !"  Oz: "Hold on, when ya say the grass  is  green, ya not talkin aboot acres  of moors  like ?"  Slash: "Well, could be ?"  Slash finishes  his  beer: "So is  it alright if I use those lyrics  then ?"  Oz: "Go for ya life pal. Maybees  I'll hear ya on the top twenty ?"  Slash: "No maybees  about it son, we're gonna be bigger than Black Sabbath ! "  Oz: "AAHHH Bollocks  man ! But good on ya for giving it a go like !" Slash: "Keep ya eye on ya Pye mate. I gotta split, plane to catch. Oz, a pleasure to meet ya !"  Oz shaking hands: "You too pal. Auf Wiedersehen ! Oh hey ! Get yaself a top hat. Be a good gimmick, you'll really look like a rock star then !"  Slash: "Great idea, thanks man !" Slash waves  goodbye as  Bomber comes  back in.   Bomber: "Oh that's  better, Bomber nearly blew a hole to China !"  Oz: "Just met a canny lad from America, Slash." Bomber: "Yes, toilet's  free but I'd give it five !" Oz: "Na man Slash, that's  his  stage  name  like. Guitarist." Bomber: "Slash ? Can't see him playing with Adge Cutler with a name like Slash !"  Oz: "Heavy metal kidda. Probably come to nothing but he was  a good laugh. He'll never be as  famous  as  Merle !"  They finish their beers  and leave the bar. Oz sings: "Paradise City where the beer's  are free and they divvin serve Cockneys !" Pepe looks in disgust as  he picks  up the empties  and mutters  under his  breath, "British filth !"                                   The End. By Tracy Holmes.
‘Paradise City' Scene:  Marbella Club. Pepe to Ally: "Your friend by the pool, he has  ordered Champagne. Who's paying ?" Ally looks  around, rolls  his  eyes: "Aye ok here but no more !" Bomber: "I'll have one more but first, Bomber needs  the little house, my Zarzuela's  on the move." Ally: "Alright one more and then out !" Oz: "Alreet alreet man, not got the plague ya kna !" Ally pays  Pepe as  Vicki grins  twinkly eyed and winks  at Oz. As  they leave, Pepe reluctantly serves  two more beers. In walks  a bloke with dark skin and a huge head of thick, black hair. Black T-shirt, shorts, flip flops  and wearing dark glasses. Pepe glares  at him: "Can I help you sir ?" Bloke with a deep but soft American accent: "Yea gizza  beer mate." Oz looks  at him: "Alreet pal ?" Bloke: "Yea mate, yaself ?" Oz: "Champion ! Ya not from aroond here then ?" Bloke: "Na mate, I'm from LA and you're a Geordie !" Oz: "Wye aye man I'm is. Oz, pleased to meet ya. You look like you're from the Caribean." Bloke laughs: "Well I was  born in London but spent a few years  in Stoke as a lad. Saul Hudson but my stage name's  Slash." Oz: "Slash ?! Stage name ? You an actor ?" Slash: "Guitarist." Oz: "Guitarist well that's  a canny gig. Money for nothing and ya chicks  for free eh ?" Slash: "Haha well not quite but working on it. Just had a break, back to LA this  afternoon, meet up with the band." Oz: "What's  the band name then ?" Slash: "Guns  and Roses." Oz: "Oh that's  a canny name though but, not country and western then ?" Slash: "Heavy metal." Oz: "Y'all not be at The Grand Old Opry then ?!" Slash: "Wouldn't think so mate." Oz: "I've been there, met Merle Haggard !" Slash: "For real ? What are ya doin in Spain ?" Oz: "Workin, unofficially but need to lay low for a while. The Spanish Old Bill are sniffin aroond like." Slash: "Haha, how long will be here then ?" Oz: "Maybees  a couple of months. Then I'm off to Ibiza ! Oh dear me, Paradise City. Where the boilers  keen and they've got big titties !" Slash chokes  on his  beer: "Oh man that's  great ! You could turn that into a song !" Oz: "Whaaat ? Never hear that on the radio son !" Slash: "How about Paradise City where the grass  is  green and the girls  are pretty ?" Oz dreamily: "Aye, please take me home." Slash: "Oh man I love it !" Oz: "Hold on, when ya say the grass  is  green, ya not talkin aboot acres  of moors  like ?" Slash: "Well, could be ?" Slash finishes  his  beer: "So is  it alright if I use those lyrics  then ?" Oz: "Go for ya life pal. Maybees  I'll hear ya on the top twenty ?" Slash: "No maybees  about it son, we're gonna be bigger than Black Sabbath ! " Oz: "AAHHH Bollocks  man ! But good on ya for giving it a go like !" Slash: "Keep ya eye on ya Pye mate. I gotta split, plane to catch. Oz, a pleasure to meet ya !" Oz shaking hands: "You too pal. Auf Wiedersehen ! Oh hey ! Get yaself a top hat. Be a good gimmick, you'll really look like a rock star then !" Slash: "Great idea, thanks man !" Slash waves  goodbye as  Bomber comes  back in. Bomber: "Oh that's  better, Bomber nearly blew a hole to China !" Oz: "Just met a canny lad from America, Slash." Bomber: "Yes, toilet's  free but I'd give it five !" Oz: "Na man Slash, that's  his  stage  name  like. Guitarist." Bomber: "Slash ? Can't see him playing with Adge Cutler with a name like Slash !" Oz: "Heavy metal kidda. Probably come to nothing but he was  a good laugh. He'll never be as  famous  as  Merle !" They finish their beers  and leave the bar. Oz sings: "Paradise City where the beer's  are free and they divvin serve Cockneys !" Pepe looks in disgust as  he picks  up the empties  and mutters  under his  breath, "British filth !"                                 The End. By Tracy Holmes.
© Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
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