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Stay out of Trouble

A Place for the fans versions of AWP

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Stay out of Trouble

Post by Londongal1983 » Thu May 21, 2020 5:29 am

Scene 1- Scotswood Road, Newcastle. Dennis Patterson and Leonard 'Oz' Osborne are walking to a building site and talking among themselves.

Oz: So what did Vera say about your lad then, Dennis man?

Dennis: She says that our Kevin's behaviour's out of control.

Oz: Meaning?

Dennis: Kevin's been fighting and arguing with just about everyone and Vera said that if it happens again, he's out of the house and out of her life.

Oz: How old is your Kevin now?

Dennis: Just turned 15 and he acts like he's bloody 18.

Oz: (changing the subject) It's good to have you back.

Dennis: It's good to be back!

Oz: So how was your flight? Mind you, I don’t suppose it takes long from Germany nowadays.

Dennis: Nah, just over an hour - ney bother.

Oz: So did you meet up with Dagmar?

Dennis: Aye.

Oz: And??

Dennis: Oh she’s fine. Just went for a drink and reminisced about old times. She’d aged a bit, like.

Oz: Ah well, I reckon there’s a good chance she thinks the same about you.

Dennis sighs.

Scene 2- a building site for a new shopping centre. Dennis and Oz arrive when Dennis's secretary Lorraine Thomas rushes over to them.

Lorraine: Mr P, you got a call a few minutes ago.

Dennis: Who from, Lorraine?

Lorraine: It's from a Mr Len Jordan.

Dennis: I'm on it. (rushes into the site office and answers the phone) Hello. (beat) Len, what's wrong? (beat) Kevin did what?! (beat) Is he alright? (beat) Where are you? (beat) I'll be right there. (hangs up and runs out of the site office)

Scene 3- Newcastle Freeman Hospital. Dennis rushes over to the bed his son Kevin is lying on surrounded by Len and Frank Jordan.

Len: Before you have a go at me, Denny, your Kevin's alright.

Dennis: Thanks, Len man. (to Kevin) Kevin son, how are you, lad? Oh come here!

Kevin and Dennis hug.

Kevin: If you see Mam, Dad, can you tell her I'm not coming back home?

Dennis: I'll try.

Len: Frank found your Kevin on the kitchen floor after he took all those pills Donita uses to stop her migraines and wrote a letter blaming Vera for everything.

Dennis: Hell's bollocks. (to Kevin) So do you see much of your mother?

Kevin: Not since I ran away 2 months ago.

Dennis: (shocked) How could you say that? She's your mother.

Kevin: Works at the local chemists.

Dennis: She’s a chemist?

Kevin: Nah, on the tills, like.

Dennis: Am only joking, son. So is she with anyone?

Kevin: She's still with that fat Scottish prick and if you ask me, she's better off without that one!

Dennis: So how’s your sister?

Kevin: Alright, I think something's wrong with her but she won't tell me about it.

Kevin looks at Len who shakes his head. He continues…

Kevin: Anyway, I've got a Summer job working for some rich Scottish bloke who wants to meet you. This Saturday.

Dennis: Who?

Kevin: You’ll have to wait and see. It’s a surprise, like.

Dennis: Today’s been full of surprises. (to Len) Hey, Len, you don’t reckon it’s Ally Fraser, do ya?

Len: Could be, I’m not psychic, Denny. You’ll have to wait and see!

Kevin: Anyway, it’s been great seeing ya again, Dad. I’ll see ya soon.

Dennis: I'll see you when I can. (kisses Kevin and leaves with Len and Frank)

Scene 4- a cafe toilet, Sunderland. Albert Moxey is washing his hands at a sink and watching a few men passing by him. When he can see no-one else left, he turns the tap off, dries his hands and accidentally barges into a red haired woman in a white jacket over a light blue dress.

Woman: Oh my God, I'm sorry. Am I in the wrong toilet?

Moxey: Yeah but that's okay.

The woman and Moxey get a closer look at each other and smile.

Woman: Albert Moxey, is that you?

Moxey: You look familiar, have we met before?

Woman: Back in 1969, I was your sister's exchange student from Dublin!

Moxey's eyes widen and it all comes back to him.

Moxey: Whoa, you're that Irish Bernadette girl who fancied me like mad.

Bernadette: That's me but some people call me Bernie these days.

Moxey: I'll call you Bernie if you call me Al, deal?

Bernadette: Deal. (hugs Moxey and they both walk out of the men's bathroom arm in arm)

Scene 5- Ally Fraser's old office. Kevin is showing Dennis around.

Kevin: (pointing to his left) That's the water fountain and trust me, it tastes better than the one at school, (points to his right) that's the men's toilets and this (gestures to the door in front of them) is the boss's office.

Dennis: Kevin, if this boss of yours is a scumbag, I've worked with some of them so you wouldn’t have to. At least Ally Fraser had some sense of decency! Honestly, thinking of him just…

Kevin: I’d be very careful what you say - I think you’re forgetting the big guy over there can hear us. (gestures his head towards Big Baz)

Dennis walks over to the door but then turns around...

Dennis storms off thinking he’s done enough to keep Kevin away from Ally. To his surprise, Big Baz follows him in a rage, grabs him by the collar and throws him against the wall…

Big Baz: Just who in the name of shite d'ya think you're doing here, man? There's a rumour going around that you're going to pay what you owe and on Mr Fraser's terms. I can't make an example of ya right now and make ya disappear but people already know there’s only one name to fear round here and it’s NOT Mr Fraser himself!!

Ally: (from behind Big Baz) Is that a fact?

Big Baz looks like he’s seen a ghost and instantly lets go of Dennis.

Big Baz: Hello, Mr Fraser, we were just talking about you.

Kevin: What Baz just said.

Ally: Now piss off back to work. I need a word with Dennis here. (to Kevin) Oh and Kevin, before you call the rest of your father's team and sort me out, let me warn you: you are being watched and it will be the last thing you (or they) ever do!

Kevin nods nervously, still in absolute disbelief and quietly walks off with Big Baz in tow.

Dennis: Ally, man, what are you doing out of Durham Prison?

Ally: Early release. I'm surprised you still know me, Dennis.

They both get walk into Ally's office.

Scene 6- in Ally's office…

Ally: I’d heard some lowlife was trying to run things in my absence. Must have thought all his Christmases had come at once when I was sent down.

Dennis: I don’t know what Big Baz wudda done to me if you hadn’t showed up. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.

Ally: You can start with that 25 grand you owe me which with interest over a 5 year period comes to………. by the way. You hadn’t forgotten, had you?

Dennis: Hell’s bollocks!

Ally: Don’t worry, Dennis, I’ll not be expecting it all back by September. Where are you living these days?

Dennis: 77 Scotswood Road, like.

Ally: I’ll pay you a visit next week. We’ll catch up properly. And don’t worry about Big Baz. He’s getting some counselling as we speak; he’ll not give you any more bother.

Scene 7- Dennis and Christine's house the next morning. Dennis walks into the kitchen with Kevin in tow and Christine serves them up a full English breakfast...

Christine: Morning, Pet, bit of a late one, was it?

Dennis: You could say that Pet, aye.

Christine: (handing Dennis a cup of coffee) Here you go, that should help to mop up some of the alcohol!! Oh, by the way, this letter came for you a couple of weeks back. (gives the letter to Dennis)

Dennis: It’s from Bomber, a letter to work on building a new shopping centre nearby. Bloody hell, Christine, why didn’t you tell us? He’ll think I’m not coming now.

Kevin: Well, I didn’t know what your letter was, don’t blame me. Why don’t you just surprise him?

Dennis: Aye, aye, could do. Will have to get him a present though! I don't know about Vera though.

At the mention of his mother's name, Kevin gets upset.

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Re: Reported third series in 1988.
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Post Sun May 31, 2020 8:15 pm

Tracy wrote: ↑ Haha, only to find out that things are not at all rosey in the garden. Dennis is hitting the drink hard while Christine is intent on making his life a bloody misery ! :cry:
Kevin: Please Dad, don't send me back to Mam.

Dennis: Don't worry, Kevin.

Christine: Your father's right, you're not going back to her.

Kevin: I pay my keep every week but that new bloke pinched it. I put it on the table and when mam came home, it was gone. She took his side as always. Delivering papers in the rain is hard enough without having this crap, I'm sick of it.

Dennis: It's alreet, son, I know how she works.

Christine: How are things for your sister?

Kevin: She's not happy either, like. She freezes when he walks in and I know she pushes her bed up against the door. She never says anything but I think he hit her once.

Dennis: (shouting angrily) HE DID WHAT?!!!

Scene 8- still in Dennis and Christine's house. Dennis is dialling a phone number.

Dennis: Barry?

Barry: Dennis, good to hear your voice again.

Dennis: Did you kna anything about this shopping centre we're due to be working on? I’ve just found out like.

Barry: Of course I did, are you going?

Dennis: Aye, should be a laugh - bit of a catch up - the Magnificent Seven are back in toon. How comes you didn’t mention it?

Nev: Must have just forgot, like.

Dennis: You mean you weren’t sure if I’d been invited!

Barry: Don't be silly, Dennis, you’re Oz’s oldest friend.

Scene 9- early Monday morning. A white van and a brown camper van both pull up by the building site.

Dennis, Oz, Moxey, Wayne, Barry and Neville: (in unison) Bomber!!!!!!

Bomber: Hello, boyos. I wondered who it was when I saw 2 vans pulling up outside; never thought for a minute it would be you.

Barry: Well, the van's my cousin Martin's, Bomb. I often think that a bloke needs something in his life; something to be connected to and something he can love without costing too much money.

Oz: Bomber, I wish this hug would never stop.

Moxey: Yeah, good to see ya, Bomb. Really looking forward to tonight!

Bomber: Well so is Bomber now.

Wayne: Nice building sute, this.

Bomber: Agreed. Central heating doesn’t work!

Moxey: As long as the kettle does...

They all laugh.

Scene 10- the building site office. The lads are sat around the table with a tea in their hands looking happy and talking about the last time they met.

Dennis: What about that bird who wanted to get in touch with you, did you meet her?

Oz: ‘Nicky’ nah, not yet, meeting her tomorrow night in the George - got na idea what it’s all aboot or who she is!

Moxey: Maybe it’s your long lost daughter looking for her dad.

Dennis: Or some tart you’ve got up the spout, looking for money!

Barry: It’s very interesting, all this.

Moxey: So Oz, is your lad still…

Oz: Abroad?

Moxey: Er…

Oz: Aye, aye. See he realised after having so many girls as friends, that he still fancied the opposite sex.

Bomber: Couldnʼt be without a woman’s touch…

Dennis: Who can eh? Mind they cost enough, I should know!

Moxey: I bet that was a relief!

Oz: Well, sort of. Had kind of got used to the idea though.

Barry: Ya knaw, itʼs a funny thing is the passage of time.

Dennis: Oh here we go…

Barry: Naw, naw listen, all I’m saying is that it’s a funny thing is the aging process. I mean I can remember the point up to which I wouldn’t have considered doing Suzi Quatro.

Moxey: So what are ya sayin’, that after all these years, ya definitely still would?

Barry: That’s right, Mox!
Last edited by Londongal1983 on Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
Did you do that?

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Re: Stay out of Trouble

Post by Londongal1983 » Sun May 31, 2020 7:18 pm

Scene 11-
Did you do that?

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